As I had promised you my lovely readers. Today we have a Guest post by the amazing Nash Amber, whose fashion sense is fluid and her style is versatile.
Nash Amber is a UK based modest fashion blogger and vlogger who loves styling hair, clothes, event planning, photography and dance.
She is the founder of Set Apart Style; a ministry which looks beyond the surface of dressing modestly for Jesus. It explores how being set apart for God influences our lifestyle choices, including how we dress.
Nash Amber works closely with women holding personal styling sessions and group workshops, teaching on what it means to be a set apart woman, plus modest fashion tips. She often blogs with the intent to inspire women to dress modestly and provides practical tips on how to achieve it in a stylish manner. She teaches and shares that modesty is deeper than what’s on the surface and that it’s really about the condition of your heart.
Q. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO DRESS MODEST?
Many factors encouraged me to dress modestly: – my Mother, my brothers and vintage looks! (I have always loved vintage clothing and the more I looked at images of fashion from a few eras ago the more I wanted to dress like that).
That was on the surface level, but beyond that, my heart experienced a big shift which resulted in me dressing modestly. Jesus met me while I was in my mess and loved me as His very own, which gave me the confidence to not rely on my body and looks for confidence or affirmation. I looked to being more like Him in my character and the desire for modesty increased.
When I came to Christ and learnt that God is not just concerned with physical purity but also wants our hearts and minds – which no human sees but He sees – I thought to myself ‘that’s impossible’. I was filled with many bad thoughts which I needed to be cleansed from but didn’t know where to begin at first. Then I learnt about Psalms 119:9 – “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.” – This verse changed my life!
From reading the word more (in order to keep my way pure), I learnt that God was righteous and made me righteous in Christ, but I struggled to believe it. I was so shocked. How?! I wondered. Then the Lord revealed His love for me and how precious I am to Him and that He called me to be holy, as He is. I had no idea what that meant, but all I knew was I wanted to be pure from the inside out and there was a way!
I started studying holiness and had a few encounters of being in the presence of God; during worship at church gatherings and I could feel Him! Over time, He began to reveal to me that He is holy and He is beautiful. His presence is beautiful and I wanted to experience those encounters every day and everywhere. True beauty is holiness and anything outside of that is not going to stand in eternity.
As a result, my heart began to change towards some of my lifestyle choices.
I started feeling irritated when a guy would look at my physique and looks in a degrading way. I realized that how I was dressing was not helping so I started making small changes to my outfits. That made me realize that the more I covered up, the more elegant and ladylike I felt and looked. I love being a lady of class and elegance, so I started to dress a lot more like what I pictured in my mind. I never really studied modesty as a topic – but holiness birthed the desire to dress modestly for Jesus.
Q. WHAT IS TRUE MODESTY ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE?
True modesty is not about focusing on not making men stumble, although that is a kind thing to do. True modesty is about reflecting the image of Christ. It’s about recognizing and accepting that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and so we have been called to be holy as He is holy (set apart). God is set apart/separate from sin and darkness and made us look like Him. Man is born with sin, but God put a beautiful plan of salvation in place so we can be born again and then sanctified/cleaned to be restored to that original holy image. The new life we gain in Jesus is expressed by what is in our hearts.
Modesty is having a heart that is set apart for Jesus. A heart that desires Jesus to have the final say in everything you do. Not just big decisions but everyday decisions also, as a result of being in a loving relationship.
Modesty is not old fashion or religious. It is birthed out of a relationship with God. It is one of the ways we express our love towards His standards and order.
We don’t do it so that He can love us more or because we are ashamed of our bodies, on the contrary, we do it because we recognize that we are much more than our bodies and looks. Our outward presentation has its place, and we can look pretty without compromising His instruction. Outward beauty should be complementing the beauty that is within us – our character. We can never short change or replace godly character, attitudes and desires with a cute outfit. We let God work in us, which will also change our outward decisions.
True modesty is not about men and making them stumble. I believe it is about love. Love for God, love for others and love for self. It’s about looking beyond the surface of clothes and seeking to be pure from the inside out. As a result, of purity of heart and mind renewal, the desires in what we wear will also change as we surrender to His standard of beauty which is holiness.
It’s not about covering up because you are ashamed of your body but more about having a revelation that you are the temple of God and too precious to be exposed because we are exclusively His.
“…do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which is God’s.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
It does involve covering up our private/delicate areas such as breasts, bums, mid drifts, thighs and backs at times. But modesty does not begin there – it begins in the heart.
Q. WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO ANYONE STRUGGLING WITH MODESTY?
If anyone is struggling with modesty as a topic, I would say do not be troubled or overwhelmed. The fact you are even thinking about it shows that you do desire to please Him beyond the surface. You want to please Him with your presentation too.
Someone who is struggling is someone who already has some knowledge on the benefits of modesty but as with all of us, just needs more revelation from Him.
I would encourage you to pray for revelation of His heart in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Aside from what everyone is saying, ask the Lord in His kindness to reveal His heart in this area, and do a study on holiness. Study what it means to be set apart for God. What does that look like? What is the purpose? What are the benefits? What’s the opposite of being set apart (holy)?
I would encourage you to study and look at the temple of God in the Old Testament. Look at the detail towards that temple and the level of care towards the handling of that temple and then look at what the bible says about the temple of Christ in the New Testament.
There is no formula or quick steps to have the revelation of holiness and modesty. It comes from a place of searching for Him – searching for His heart. When you fix your gaze on Him and refuse to be told what you want to hear but are open to unlearning anything you have ever believed that is not the truth, you will find Him.
Modesty is a heart issue and it requires intimacy. God loves us so much and will reveal things to us as we seek Him with faith and confidence that He will meet and answer us.
Q. WHAT ARE THE CHALLENGES YOU HAVE FACED WITH DRESSING MODEST?
- It was hard to find a bank of modest items. I somehow thought I could just walk to any store and pick up what I wanted. That was not the case as I found that dresses and skirts were too short, too tight or just missing key elements with cutouts.
I learnt very quickly that most stores do not have a modest woman at the forefront of their mind, so I had a choice to make – wear what I found or keep searching and trusting Him. I chose the latter as I truly believe that He supplies all my needs and I did not make up this modesty standard, so if He desires me to live it out He has to provide a solution and He does. I even have an overflow of clothes now(!), so much that I’m currently on a no shopping challenge – to encourage me to wear more of what I have and not acquire more things.
It doesn’t bother me anymore that so many stores have immodest items as I have learnt to restyle and modest-fy items. I think perspective is very important when desiring to be modestly dressed.
- I love being modest but I did go through feelings of ‘you dress old/you are not attractive anymore’. These are all lies from the pit of hell. Those little demons would want me to be insecure and doubt Gods boundaries set in love. I cancelled out those lies and spoke His word over me and those thoughts don’t come back. So I would say that looking to God to affirm me was a challenge in the beginning because there was a serious war going on for my attention and mind. Yet Christ has won me forever!! I do not live for likes and I was not created for man to like me for my looks – I was created to bring glory to Jesus and I do that when I am dressing modestly out of the revelation of love and not self-righteous.
- Not everyone values the beauty of modesty. It’s something that only He can place on the heart of another to see rightly. Some brothers and sisters may not think you look all that great, but keeping Jesus at the forefront of my life has helped me in seeing myself more beautiful and attractive instead of boring.
- Having people who in my opinion perhaps dress modestly for religious reasons sending me unkind emails and messages disagreeing with what I share. Not showing the love of Christ but really wanting to pin what they believe as the final way of modest dressing.
- People assuming that I judge others by what they wear and that I go around bashing people with the message of modesty. That is so far from the truth, as that is not His character and He would rebuke me if I was to treat anyone of His creations like that. We are all given time and grace to learn and grow. Just as God has been patient with me, I always aim to be patient with others – praying for them, with them and also speaking the truth in love. I haven’t always got it right in the past but He continues to teach me better ways to live with my sisters in the Lord.
WHERE CAN PEOPLE FIND MORE FROM SET APART STYLE?
If you would like to stay in touch with Set Apart Style:
YouTube: Set Apart Style
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Facebook: Set Apart Style
Don’t you just Love her? I would really love to hear from you guys your thoughts on modesty, feel free to comment
Have a blessed day!